Bo Burnham: Welcome to youtube

Before Youtube I walked through life.
And now I frollic.
Youtube has been like a father to me,
Except Youtube's not an alcholic.
Before Youtube I was just a skinny white kid,
That thought he was funnier, & cooler
Than he actually was.
Now,
Not much has changed,
But I have a shitload of money.
Because Youtube is a place for people to share their ideas.
If by people you mean
13-year-old girls,
And by ideas you mean
How they love the Jonas Brothers.
I'm just kidding!
But let's be honest,
That's a hefty majority.
And if you don't believe me
You must be a noob!...
So, Welcome to Youtube!
You don't know what your missing,
A-just try searching a-women kissing.
It's Youtube. It's what this country's been needing.
A generation of kids who don't waste their time reading.
Am I the only one who thinks that Lisa Nova's hot,
And Chris Crocker's not?
He's hotter.
Most Famous youtubers are either asian or they're gay.
So there's an untapped youtube celebrity, and it's name is Geore Takai.
And if your favorite coat has got a doo-doo stain; I pray to god that that's chocolate rain.
And I find videos of babys laughing a bit intrusive.
Because Barrak Obama won the election because of Youtube.
Wait, did I say youtube?
I meant the black vote.
And I think that Youtube and FRED are SO COOL!
And What The Buck will be back in a jiffy lube...
So welcome to Youtube.
Yeah, I said welcome to Youtube.
Hey. Welcome to youtube.
I said listen and linger.
Charlie the unicorn bit my finger.
It's youtube.
The impact is evident.
Ms. Teen South Carolina just ran for vice president.
Upload a video.
You got nothin' to lose.
Except all of you friends.
And the approval of your parents.
Hi, my name is Mary and I'm 19 years old and I got drunk at a party and I think someone was videotaping it but I don't want anyone to see it 'cause I showed half of my boob.
Sorry Mary!
Welcome to Youtube.
Say hello to youtube.
Say goodbye to your college scholarship.
Yeah, and it'll keep on going and it'll never stop.
'Till it's privatized.