Dua Lipa: New Rules for COVID dating

What a year for dating, crazy
Nothing is the way it was
People texting exes, sex pics
From the basement at their mom's

If you have human contact
Don't know what you'll contract
So your first date's always on Zoom
You just wish you could go out
Get a little naughty
But you're drunk on FaceTime
WiFi's getting sloppy

There's no bars, there's no school
Poundin' claws in a kitty pool
Thirsty slides through DMs
Now you landed in their close friends
No matter how you try to break through
It all feels like a waste of time
When you've gotten your face off Netflix
Hulu, HBO and Prime
Now you're gettin' ready
Though, it's lowkey scary
Check your drip and grab your Lysol

If you're ever wanna see another person's body
If feel zap on your forehead
You're a total hottie

Wear a mask, wash your hands
It's not like you have other plans
It's awkward, but it's cool
Following all these COVID rules

(...)

One: Get in the zone, no more doing edibles at home alone
Two: Start the Instagram
Got a background check if you wanna slam
Three: Up your waxin' game
No one's seen you naked since February
And if you hate it all, watch out if you start to cough
I got new rules for dating
Six feet apart, no mating
Masks can be irritating
No more procrastinating
These are the rules for dating

One: There's a new third base
that's when you get to see their lower face
Two: Right before you touch, Purell until your hands get rough
Three: Just seal the deal, you better hope you lick'em when you wake up in the morning
If you're feeling numb, it's you, your hand and OnlyFans

We've got new rules for dating
Safety is stimulating
It's your neighbours you're saving
You'll get that touch you're craving
Just follow these rules for dating