Rodney Carrington: All About Sex

Madison Gale country flower is pooh de pooh freshener, that's what it is.
Look it smells like a country flower!!
Who wants to eat a country flower?
Make a flavor we like chicken, beef bullion, anything.
Give me a reason to take my hat off and go down there.
I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight

I had three sisters growin' up there was shit in that bathtub I didn't know what it was untill i was 25 years old.
Momma had that big water bottle thing hangin off in there.
To me that was just a really neat squirt gun.
I was in there tryin' to blow it up, bmmmmmp
You cant blow that sum bitch up either youll bust a blood vessel out your head
Dont suck on it, ewwww
Momma said get that outta your mouth do you know where that's been?!?!
She just wants to kill ya cause she thinks shes raisin a f**kin' heathen.
Daddy's laughin' his ass off 'cause hes in there 3 hours earlier doin the same damn thing
He didn't know what it was either
He's in the front yard waterin' the plants with that sum bitch
You don't see those anymore
The days of the water bottle are gone
Women now days are just naturally fresh
They figured out soap works!

I married a woman that got's a identical twin sister
And uh they look just a like
Naturally my wife is well i mean she's... I married way over my f**kin' head.
She's gorgeous
If she walked in here right now youd be like fmmmmmmmmp what the f**k howd you get her?
Personality, that's all i had!
But I'll tell you this you marry a twin you date a twin you f**k one you pretty much wanna f**k the other
Call me crazy
Now here's some real good advice
Don't ever bring that up!
That was a shity Christmas I got news for ya.

I aint never planned to get married
Men never plan to get married women do!
I'm gonna get married I'm gonna have a big house and hes gonna work and I'm not.
Dream on hooker, dream the f**k on.
You wanna know why a man gets married I'll tell ya why a man gets married.
A man gets married because hes been in a realtionship for so long that he just f**kin' gives up.
Alright I'll marry ya.
You happy?
Oh yeah hahahaha
Then comes the planning of the weddin'
And everyday is an event to her
What do you think about the napkins and the sign in book and my dress and my panties and blah blah blah f**kin blah
I don't give a shit just make sure theres beer and whiskey when the shit's over with
Cause ill tell ya somethin' boys at this point and time you dont even no how bad you screwed up.
You just know theres a big event coming up and someone you're involved.
Then comes the day of the weddin'.
Yer dressed up and she's dressed up
No turnin' back now is there hmmm nmmmm.
Everybody shakin' your hand takin' your picture congratulations
You just won a seat in the f**kin senate for all you know
Yer clueless cooo cooo cooo cooo cooo coo
Afterwards yer at the reception drinkin beer with your buddies oblivious to what the f**k you just did
Woooooooooo you sum bitch ya did it you got married you bastard
Then everybody just leaves
What the hey! Wwwwait where you all goin'
Now dont you just leave me here.
Oh shit!